When Susan Thompson started helping her aging mother with doctor’s appointments, she didn’t realize it would eventually mean quitting her full-time job. “I thought I could balance everything,” she explains. “But soon I was missing work for emergencies, using vacation days for hospital visits, and falling behind on projects.”
Susan’s story isn’t unusual. Across America, adult daughters are stepping up as primary caregivers for elderly parents, often at tremendous personal financial cost. Studies show women provide 61% of all caregiver hours for older adults, with daughters making up the largest group.
The price tag of this care goes far beyond the obvious expenses. According to research from AARP, family caregivers spend an average of $7,242 annually on out-of-pocket costs. But the bigger financial hit comes from reduced work hours, passed-up promotions, or leaving the workforce entirely.
“Many women don’t realize they’re making financial decisions that will affect them for decades,” says financial advisor Maria Gutierrez. “Taking time away from work doesn’t just impact today’s paycheck—it reduces retirement savings, Social Security benefits, and career advancement opportunities.”
This caregiving penalty hits at a critical time in women’s financial lives. Many daughters find themselves caring for parents during their peak earning years—exactly when they should be maximizing retirement contributions. The lost income can be staggering.
Research from MetLife estimates that women who leave jobs to care for parents lose an average of $324,044 in wages and benefits over their lifetime. This “caregiver penalty” creates a financial domino effect that can lead to economic insecurity in their own retirement years.
The problem has gotten worse in recent years. The pandemic pushed many women out of the workforce as care facilities closed and families became more hesitant about nursing homes. Even as the job market recovered, many daughters never returned to previous employment levels because caregiving duties continued.
“I went from full-time to part-time, then eventually had to quit,” says Jennifer Clark, who cares for her father with dementia. “My brothers help on weekends, but somehow the day-to-day fell to me. I’ve burned through my savings, and I worry about how I’ll ever catch up.”
These sacrifices often go unrecognized. Despite providing care valued at an estimated $470 billion annually—more than total Medicaid spending—family caregivers receive little financial support. Programs that do exist often have complicated eligibility requirements or long waiting lists.
Some families try to address the imbalance through informal arrangements. Teresa Martinez receives a monthly stipend from her siblings who live out of state while she provides in-home care for their mother. “It doesn’t replace my former salary, but it acknowledges that I’m doing work that benefits all of us,” she says.
Financial experts recommend several strategies for women facing caregiving responsibilities. First, have open family discussions about how costs will be shared among siblings. Consider consulting an elder law attorney about options like caregiver contracts, which formalize payment arrangements.
“Don’t wait for a crisis to make a plan,” advises Gutierrez. “The time to talk about how care will be managed and funded is before anyone needs help.”
For those already providing care, explore workplace benefits like flexible scheduling, family leave, or remote work options. Some employers offer caregiving benefits including subsidized backup care or access to geriatric care managers who can help coordinate services.
Government programs can provide some relief too. Check if your state offers paid family leave or Medicaid programs that allow family members to be compensated as caregivers. Tax benefits like the Dependent Care Credit may also apply.
Community resources like Area Agencies on Aging can connect caregivers with local support services, including respite care that provides temporary breaks. Adult day programs and meal delivery services can reduce caregiving hours without sacrificing quality of care.
